Let’s Unblock Fear of Failure… and Success, too!

Many times we find ourselves fearing that our Dream will die with failure, and hope for the future dies along with that. But there will be failures. That is a fact of life and living. There remains the decision – will we go forward anyway? Will we look for other ways and opportunities?

We can recognize that sometimes roadblocks are a hint that we have veered off our path. We work too hard and meet roadblocks, nothing is “flowing,” and well, we feel stuck. Without even realizing it, thoughts creep in:

  • Why try?
  • Why go for it?
  • Why dream?
  • What’s the point?
  • Why keep trying over and over?
  • Eh, this wouldn’t have worked, anyway.

And yet: That inner push means that something needs to be done. It’s important that we expect the best to happen, and remember that the “how” is up to the Divine.

We each have things at which we excel, and which we love. And we find what they are, right on time. The take-away: we can’t let fear of failure stop us from trying again and yet again. We can always reframe our identity as a Divine Creation, rather than a profession or a goal. It’s much more unrealistic to think of a Divine Creation as a failure compared to a professional designation or a goal.

The very fear of failing can be given enough attention and expectation that the fear becomes the outcome goal, subconciously.  Thus thoughts of failure become a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts. In congruence with the Law of Attraction, that to which we grant attention, emotion and belief is attracted to us as a reality, created by the Universe for us in response to our thoughts.

When we expect failure, it can blind us to recognizing when success appears. Due to a phenomenon called “Cognitive Dissonance,” we can experience a mismatch when what we expect – even subconsciously – shades what we perceive – even to our detriment of not recognizing successes along the way. Put simply, it’s a mismatch between what we expect and what happens. Another example could also that we recognize the success, but it feels foreign, and we push it away, using the mismatch as a basis for actual fear of success.

Here are some other bases for fears of failure and success:

  • Guilt – if we succeed we don’t deserve it; someone else is deprived if we prosper; or we don’t deserve to succeed in the first place.
  • Shame – based on the belief that we have something wrong with us, and we have a dread or dread of others finding out.
  • Undeservingness – can be from low self esteem, or being told we are worthless.

Remember the identity as a Divine Creation?  This means we were created with the attributes of wholeness, worthiness, and completeness. And then life happens. We can find ourselves resenting others’ successes or what they have – this can create a foot-hold for guilt, which blocks out Joy. We can forgive ourselves for what we have done, or believe we have done. we can know that feeling ashamed and behaving shamefully are two entirely different things, and both can be forgiven of ourselves. When we practice judgemental attitudes or statements, we are projecting our own fears or insecurities on others, and this indicates we may harbor fears unknown.

So, we can see that fear of success is also as limiting as fear of failure. It can stop us from even trying! We might experience fear of success so that don’t try. We might have fear of responsibility, or being known as an authority, or a Public Figure, We may experience distractions like housework, magical thinking, binging on TV shows, over analyzing, feeling a sense of overwhelm… all which serve to keep us stuck instead of working on our goals and dreams.

It helps to focus on the one thing that needs to be done, right now, to move forward; like breaking up a huge project into one bite-size piece at a time. If you are an introvert, maybe you can start by writing that blog post you’ve been thinking about. If you are extrovert, perhaps it’s time to do a Periscope, FB Livestream, or make a presentation locally.

We can all cultivate a partnership with the Divine, and receive guidance and heed that over our own ego-based plans, worries, and fears. It has been a valued experience through human history that in the “letting go” of ego-centric control, we realize that in each moment, we are just fine, and that all is well at a soul level, just on the other side of fear. We can be confident in going forward one step at a time. We can be secure in our knowledge that we do not need the whole plan at once. It’s enough to simply do what’s in front us to do, right now, and move on when the next step presents itself.

Thus, we can recognize self-sabotage for what it is: a well-hidden trap that glitters us with well-contrived intentions and reasoned excuses, but very little chance of action or success. And, it hangs over us like a fog, this doing of nothingness.

But: when we take the steps be congruent with our purpose and our passion, we do not feel contrived or limited – for now we polish our gifts and live our purpose. This is success – not money, status or power: but a realization and joy in doing, service, and living purposefully.

© Lizzie Bennett RN

Lizzie Bthree_moons_medicine-1ennett is a Registered Nurse and Ordained Minister of some years and owns Three Moons Medicine™ as her private counseling and coaching practice, a blog, educational forum, Facebook page, and outreach to support others on their journey.

 

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s